WHERE ARE THE TROUBLE SPOTS IN PRIVATE CLUBS?

Whenever club executives gather together the topic of conversation always turns to members complaints. The "golf duffers" bitch about the greens being cut too short, while the low handicappers scream about the slow greens. The neatness freaks always ask why the clubhouse is forever filthy. It goes without saying, everyone likes to complain about the food; either mildly or vociferously. Finally we began asking club executives, at every meeting we attended, "what is their most common complaint?" We began to accumulate their responses, in an anecdotal manner, and thought our readers would like to observe it in a chart format . . . . easy to evaluate at a glance.

In the illustration above, the horizontal lines represent the most complaints and the dotted area indicates the second most frequent.

As expected the food and beverage departments received the largest number of complaints (almost double that of any other department) and we followed up with telephone questions as to why this was so. First, almost all agreed that the very nature of a food operation made it the most difficult to manage. A definition by one executive appropriately sums it up. "A food operation is a chemical assembly line committed to satisfying the members instantaneous demands. Errors made under the pressure of service are irretrievable. You are only as good as your last 15 minutes of service." Many also brought up the fact of "perception." What one person considers excellent cuisine, another calls garbage. One example given was Mexican food in Texas. A burrito in North Texas compared to South and Far West Texas will be totally different. Ask for a sopaipilla in Southern California and you will either get an uncomprehending stare or the retort, "You Texans need to learn what a Mexican dessert is." Unfortunately such concepts are acerbated by moods . . . . . . . the hamburgers are always lousy to the person coming off the course with a bad golf score. Needless to say, those clubs with diverse membership ethnic backgrounds, really suffer from the perception complex. Talk to any club executive operating in southern Florida and you will quickly appreciate the problems of serving food to members who are recent transfers from Cuba or South American countries, old people versus those under 45, and the many "deli experts" from New York.

While the golf complaints are much less numerous than those involving food, they still total a little over half of those in the food category. Ignoring the classical golfer complaint, listed in the first paragraph above, we questioned our readers about different factors involving golf. The highest number of complaints centered on slow play versus fast. We thought the first response would involve an age factor . . . . the older group being criticized by the younger golfers. However, such was not the case. Rather it centered around the good golfers in contrast to the aforementioned "duffers." The low handicappers and otherwise better golfers seemed to always be pushing the slower players, i.e., the high handicappers. How did the majority of our readers correct the problem? All manner of rule posting, penalties on the violators, etc., seemed to be of no avail. It appears that the only thing that works is a marshal, and further, the use of a non-member is mandatory. Members don’t want to risk offending their friends, and would always be too lenient. This person has to be an experienced golfer and one who would be a firm, impartial, enforcer of the rules, preferably one who isn’t known by the members. One who is totally removed from the local golf community.

Complaints involving the third highest group of critics, the tennis players, has to be moderated by a judicious and fair individual. Traditionally tennis players are low consumption drinkers, are highly competitive, and are true addictive aficionados. One of the interviewees, with a reputation of being extremely blunt with his responses, put it in another way . . . . . . they are just plain cheap. The golfers will mellow out with a couple of drinks after a round of golf . . . . . not so with the highly competitive tennis player. In fact, the only group of members who spend less on food and beverage at the club are those in a yacht club. They spend so much on their boats that they don’t have any money left for booze.

The next to last group on the right end of the chart, are those who use the clubhouse more than most, and as can be seen, seldom complain. This isn’t so much due to the inclinations of the members in this category, but is mostly a result of having very few things that are likely to go wrong. None of the complications of serving hot food hot and cold food cold, the intensity of sports competition, nor the problems of cost . . . . . . . . . like highly expensive greens fees. The major complaints seem to center around cleanliness of the clubhouse areas, and much more about the room temperature . . . . . . the bridge ladies simply can’t put up with the coldness of the rooms because they are sitting in a dormant state, as contrasted with the active cleaning crew who surreptitiously turn the temperature to freezing.

Lastly, we have the catchall labeled "other." Which could mean the member who can’t make friends or the complainer who complains simply to complain. . . why can’t we have a clubhouse like the one next door? . . why is our food so bad? . . . our exercise machine squeaks, etc., etc., Insert your own word or words. ²

What conclusion can we draw from all the investigation and the many questions posed? Is there a magical solution . . . . . . one that will provide an answer for the majority? Sorry, it is just the nature of the beast. Which really isn’t all that bad. Members join a club to associate with their peers and their buddies. Indirectly this gives them license to criticize . . . . to grumble amongst themselves. Sort of like one big happy family . . . . they believe it is their inherent right to grumble and complain within the confines of their family . . . . but if an outsider joins in, they will all attack the outsider. Accept that it is just the way it is . . . one big quarreling, but happy family. ²

 

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